Mother’s Day signals a day of celebration and reverence for many. Plenty of women feel very loved and appreciated this time of year. But if you spend the day alone or feel undervalued, take heart — you have lots of company. Many fast trackers don’t receive this type of admiration. And some are surrounded by colleagues, friends, and family who make a point of boasting about their festivities while declaring that others are not getting this adoration because they’ve spent more time on their careers than on their children and families. This may be painful to listen to, but respect your choices and expect these folks to do the same. Don’t beat yourself up.
Change What You Can Today
Use the day to reflect upon your relationship with your family and if you see something you want to do differently at this stage in your life, do it! It’s never too late to change. Want to spend more time with your children? Make the choice to let something else go and adjust your schedule. If you’re still tight on time, be creative. Make special memories that all of you can cherish. But keep your focus on today. You can’t do anything about the past. And be honest with yourself: you probably would make the same choice to pursue VIP career success if you had it to do over.
Thank Your Surrogates
As a high profiler, the rigors of your daily routine require you to rely upon others to take care of many responsibilities you can’t do yourself. This includes child care. When you’re always on the go, you may have to enlist the help of sitters, day care and after school programs, nannies, mannies, au pairs, governesses, or you may depend upon relatives or boarding schools to provide residential care. These surrogates serve as an extension of you, and they help your children thrive by giving them special care, attention, and affection in your stead. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are great occasions to give them a special “thank you” for their years of service. And if they’re continuing to nurture your children, thank them throughout the year.
You may feel envious when others flaunt that they’re showered with merriment and goodies on Mother’s Day, but don’t let this trigger feelings of failure and regret. Be happy for these folks and their great relationships, but take pride in your success in stewarding the happiness and well-being of your children too. They may not show their appreciation of you with the same fanfare that other people’s children do, but often value you as a key role model and frequently elevate their own stature by bragging to others about you. Sure, you can have children who resent your success and sabotage their own achievement in the hopes of pulling you off your perch, but keep trying to connect and communicate with them. If your efforts aren’t working, get professional help.
If you don’t receive the royal treatment on Mother’s Day, it’s not the end of the world. Life is different on the fast track and sometimes the choices you must make mean that your experiences will be different too. Enjoy the celebration you do receive and, if none is forthcoming, celebrate yourself!
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About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant specializing in Success Psychology.
She is author of the book for those dealing with the stress of success ―
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There,
The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! ―
the book to help you overcome fears that may be holding you back in your life and career
The Private Practice of Clinical Psychology in: Voices of Historical & Contemporary Black American Pioneers
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Your Success Psychologist!
Clinical Psychology Consulting
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