You know the drill. You understand how to comport yourself as a high profiler. For the most part, your spouse or significant other does too. But, to your chagrin, the rules of success management for family and friends may elude the rest of your network. Their behavior, when negative, can tarnish your brand. Don’t be afraid to make it clear that what they say and do can impact you.
You love your children and want them to live their lives freely but, unfortunately, this isn’t always possible. Because of your success they, too, carry the burden of living in the fishbowl and are constrained by the public’s expectations that they conduct themselves as you do. If you hold a position of great authority and discipline and folks see your kids running wild, even as little ones, this will reflect poorly upon you. And if your adult children get into roles and relationships that are strikingly different from yours, this can undermine people’s view of you too. While this may be unfair, it’s the way it is, so talk openly with your children about these things. This doesn’t mean that your adult kids must be your clone, but they need to fully understand how everything they do can affect you.
Relatives & “Play” Family
As with children, the behavior of extended relatives as well as “play” family members can impact you too. If you just got back from the latest Family Reunion and still have heartburn because of some of the tacky things Uncle Fred or Cousin Sally did or said, you’re not alone. Family gatherings spotlight these things and remind you that not every relative is ready for prime time. When you’re in the public eye, you’re more aware of this and sometimes have to distance yourself from family who can’t or won’t rein themselves in for your sake. It’s not reasonable to expect everyone in the world to change because of your success stature. But if they don’t, you must confine their participation to certain types of occasions. Some have to be cut loose altogether. This may make you sad, but there are some downsides to being a high profiler and this is one of them.
Friends & Close Associates
Like relatives whose behavior can create problems for you, some friends and associates can bomb your brand too. While they mean well and genuinely think they’re promoting your success by telling everyone that they have a special relationship with you, usually they’re just trying to raise their own stature. This may be fine when their reputation is unblemished, but can become a mess for you when they have issues. You may love these folks to death, but know that some are loudmouths whose bragging is a turnoff, while others may be subjects of serious controversy or other problems. Whether you want to or not, there will be times you’ll have to distance yourself from these folks to prevent their troubles from becoming yours. Or, as with problem relatives, you’ll have to limit the kinds of activities you include them in.
Success management is a vital skill. But it doesn’t only apply to how you conduct yourself. Those around you must manage their behavior too. What they do and say can impact your success, so be sure that they understand this and govern themselves accordingly.
Enjoy These Other Success Articles
Reprint Policy: You are welcome to reprint this article for your personal use and to share with friends and associates.
Contact Dr. Webster to obtain permission for any commercial purposes.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant specializing in Success Psychology.
She is author of the book for those dealing with the stress of success ―
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There,
The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! ―
the book to help you overcome fears that may be holding you back in your life and career
The Private Practice of Clinical Psychology in: Voices of Historical & Contemporary Black American Pioneers
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Your Success Psychologist!
Clinical Psychology Consulting
Mailing Address: 7027 West Broward Boulevard, #262 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33317