Value Your Valentine

Posted by on Feb 5, 2012 in Success!Ezine For You



E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Original Copyright © 2012

It’s easy to find fault with your relationship. Not enough of this. Too much of that. But this Valentine’s Day try to focus in on what’s right with it so that you can appreciate the many positives it brings to your life.

  • Don’t Overlook the Present by Obsessing Over the Future

Sure, the relationship could be better and it probably will be with time. But there’s plenty going on now that deserves your attention and recognition. Are you missing it?? Many couples spend all their time looking towards tomorrow and fail to focus on the interactions and moments between them that are rewarding today. Don’t be one of them. Some don’t make it ‘til tomorrow and, while it’s important to plan for the future, don’t concentrate all of your energy and attention on what you hope will happen then. Too much time will get away from you, leaving you feel empty and disconnected from the enjoyment you could be experiencing around you now.

  • Don’t Dwell On the Past

It’s tough to savor the present when you’re stewing over the past. Some stuff you just have to let go. This doesn’t mean tolerating unacceptable attitudes or actions, but it does mean confronting them and moving on. If you’re bogged down in the past, you can’t be mindful of the good things taking place around you so you certainly won’t enjoy them. Also dwelling on past hurts and failings takes emotional energy, leaving you little left over to put into your relationship today. When you’re not putting much in, it’s hard to get much back. Value your mate.

  • Celebrate Today!

Holidays are great times to celebrate so make this Valentine’s Day a special one. Not because you spend lots of money or do anything spectacular – but because you are mindful of all that is prized about your relationship and make a point of recognizing the little comments, gestures, and other nuances that make it endearing. Applaud the simple reality that you are in a relationship, particularly if it is one you have sustained for many years. This is worth rejoicing. Enjoy a wide, self-satisfying smile.

Yes, there’s always room for improvement in our relationships. But don’t let worry about the future or ruminations about the past cause you to miss out on the love being bestowed on you now. Be mindful of the little moments. Enjoy them. And be thankful that they are in your life today.

Not In A Relationship Right Now?
Check Out: Another Valentine’s Day Alone?


E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
About the Author:

Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
She is author of the book for those dealing with the stress of success ―
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There,

The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! ―
the book to help you overcome fears that may be holding you back in your life and career
The Private Practice of Clinical Psychology in: Voices of Historical & Contemporary Black American Pioneers
To contact Dr. Webster visit online at or call 954.797.9766.

E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
Mailing Address: 7027 West Broward Boulevard, #262  Fort Lauderdale, FL 33317

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