To Gain Work-Life
Balance, Get a Life
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 20036
There’s a reason some people don’t have balance between their jobs or
businesses and their personal lives. They don’t have a personal life.
Many individuals are starving emotionally and they are starving
socially. This may be due, in part, to the fact that families are far
flung these days and few people even know their neighbors, robbing them
of the kind of stimulation, nurturing and support that was common in the
past. This means you have to put energy into building a personal life
and many people never get around to it.
Work
Fills the Loneliness
For many, immersion in work eases the pain of an empty, unsatisfying
personal life. It gives you something to do, somewhere to go, someplace
to be somebody. People care about you there, fuss over you, and provide
opportunities for you to take care of them too. This can seduce you into
spending more and more time there – loading you up with more tasks and
responsibilities so that you feel too overwhelmed and exhausted to work
on any other aspect of your life.
Work
Becomes Your Identity
In our society, we are all defined in large part by the job we do. But
when you’re not doing much else in your life, it can become all
that you are. You only feel powerful and productive when in your work
role, and feel adrift and purposeless when on your own time. People only
know you in connection with your job or business, and you likely have
little else to talk about,
Get A Life
Step back and take stock of what’s missing in your life. Be frank with
yourself and accept that you have to put time into building hobbies,
leisure time, and family and personal relationships that are meaningful
and satisfying. If there is just too much emotional baggage associated
with your relationships to overcome, “adopt” new friends and surrogate
family members and put energy into strengthening these. Get involved in
community service and charitable activities. Not only will you give
well-needed time and attention to others, you will come into contact
with people other than your co-workers or clients. Over time, you will
have a richer, broader base of experiences that will help you grow as an
individual. Give yourself permission to build this side of your life and
realize that this is as much a mark of success as excelling in your
career.
In order to attain work-life balance, you have to have something in
your life other than work.
