Personal
Problems Plummet Job Performance
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2003
The performance of high achieving,
successful people can begin to decline when personal problems get in the
way. No one intends to allow this intrusion and, indeed, most argue that
they are working very hard to keep their troubles to themselves and out of
the workplace. But reality is that worries about finances, unhappy
relationships, dysfunctional relatives, legal woes, and other such
difficulties force telltale signs onto the job. Personal problems have a
way of occupying your focus and draining emotional energy causing
performance difficulties, such as not making it into the office on time,
losing track of important papers and responsibilities, missing critical
deadlines, and becoming more unmotivated and testy with colleagues.
Unhappiness in your life can stem from many sources, but troubled
relationships and problems with children often top the list.
Troubled
Relationships
When you are unhappy in
your relationship with your spouse or significant other, it is hard to
stay on top of your game at work. Constant arguments and conflict keep you
tense and on edge, making it difficult to project an energized and upbeat
image on the job. You may painfully discover that you’ve outgrown your
mate and this can leave you feeling unloved, alone, and not sure of what
you’re going to do next. Being caught in the throes of infidelity,
problems with in-laws, chronic spousal unemployment, or other such
problems can quickly take their toll as well. You are likely to feel very
depressed and uninterested in dealing with others, and may find it tough
to motivate yourself to meet all your required timelines and obligations
both in your personal life and at work.
Negative ruminations
about your problems and what you’re going to do about them can wreak havoc
with your concentration and contribute to workplace lapses such as
forgetting important information, misplacing things, and needing to have
instructions repeated because you’re really not listening well in the
first place. As you receive criticism and negative feedback about your
performance, you may retreat even further into skipping meetings, leaving
early, and taking time off because you’re finding it harder to cope. Some
people close their doors and hide out in their offices, often avoiding
going home because they don’t want to confront the discord, possible
domestic violence, and other problems that await them. Relationship
problems contribute tremendous stress and sooner or later will demand that
you get help.
Problem
Children
The stresses of dealing
with troubled children can disrupt the performance of even the highest
achiever on a job. Constant telephone calls from your child’s school or
others to report academic and/or behavior problems will quickly overshadow
any success you may be experiencing at work. They can cause great feelings
of frustration, anger, and even shame that though you are a capable
person, your child is a mess. Often children are responding to unhappiness
that is brewing at home and are responding by acting out in a negative
manner. Further, people frequently misunderstand that even children who
may not be getting into trouble in school or in the community can cause
tremendous stress for you in the workplace when they are overindulged and
expect you to address their needs immediately. Repeated calls to your
office or cell phone demanding this and that, expectations from your mate
that you’re the only one who can take care of these demands can evoke a
lot of guilt and absorb more time than you can afford to take at work to
deal with it all. If you are a single parent, this stress remains
magnified until you learn how to build an effective support network.
Indeed, you generally may feel guilty about working instead of dedicating
yourself to the children and may overcompensate to appease your
uncomfortable feelings.
Rather than indulge this
daily barrage of interruptions on the job, it is essential to determine
what constitutes an “emergency” versus other issues and requests that can
be handled on your lunch break or when you get home from work. You must
learn how to control all these stressors and your mate and children’s
behavior must change too. Both you and they have to understand that you
are at work and that you’re being paid to do a job, not to spend a
day of the company’s time and resources absorbed with your personal
problems. Fortunately, many employers are more understanding of your needs
than ever before and may approve flexible work schedules and other
accommodations to help you deal with your situation. But, it’s essential
to realize that high-level executives who ccontrol their own time and can
leave the office when they want are often inappropriately dropping what
they have to do at work to run around in response to their children’s
issues and then are playing catch up into the wee hours of the night. This
is not necessarily good either. Similarly, working from home can be just
as much of a nightmare if can’t get anything done because of your family
problems and constant interruptions. Getting more time off and flexibility
in your schedule won’t be very effective if you don’t get help to control
the root problems.
Take
Action. Take Control. Get Help
Personal problems of any
severity rarely improve on their own. You have to take some action to find
effective solutions to address them. Help is available in many forms:
