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Feature Article

Loss of Job Security Can Mean Loss of Emotional Security Too
 E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. 
Copyright © 1996, 2003

It’s a long, exhausting climb to the top. No one likes the thought of having to start over again. But, today companies all over the country are downsizing and right-sizing ― putting many people who never dreamed they’d be hawking their resumes on the streets with a feeling of desperation.

The loss of prestigious position, whether sudden or otherwise, can result in several adjustment problems. Once you’ve become known in the community as a power broker, it can feel terribly demeaning to fall from the perch. Most people try to be polite about your loss of "importance", but quickly jockey to curry favor with your replacement or next most influential decision-maker. A few are downright hurtful in ignoring you or failing to return your phone calls once your benefit to them is over. This can be particularly distressing when you’ve commanded high respect and prompt response from others. You can begin to take your power and influence for granted, not appreciating the fact that success can be here today and gone tomorrow and that you can lose it all.

Consider this case:

 Robert lost his membership at the business club, received fewer invitations to key social functions, and generally felt rejected and abandoned. He fell outside of the loop for important business information and became more socially isolated and withdrawn. Steeped in resentment, Robert started drinking heavily and made life hell for himself and his family as he despaired returning to life as an "average Joe."

Psychologists across America hear Robert’s story everyday. Losing a job and its associated identity are difficult to accept. The steeper the fall, the more traumatic it can be. You’ll miss the attention and admiration of the people around you. You’ll miss the power. This is why it’s essential to recognize the transitory nature of success and not imagine yourself to be more secure than you really are.

Many people say with bravado, "Well, I’ll just open my own business". This sounds good and will be a great solution for some individuals. But, if you don’t have the temperament or the talent for entrepreneurship, your feelings of depression and despair will be compounded tenfold. As an employee, you were used to a position of status, power and privilege. Your affiliation with a prestigious company afforded you these benefits. But now you have to earn these in the name of your own company and it may take years for this to happen. What is your status in the meantime? You remain one of many other eager small business people trying to make it. Noble, but not likely to be sufficiently gratifying if your ego needs the perquisites and status symbols bestowed upon members of more prosperous businesses and corporations.

Those who prefer to return to employment with an established company need to prepare for the fact that things will be different. You should always expect the best and try hard to land a job that’s comparable or better than the one you had before. But, if the job market and reality dictate otherwise, you must accept that life is going to change. Learn how to tell people directly that your position in the business community or social network is now different. Once employed again in a less powerful management position, Robert had to muster the courage to let people know that he no longer controlled the type of financial decisions they relied upon him for in the past. He learned how to say "I don’t call the shots anymore" or "I’m sorry I can’t contribute to your fund-raiser this year." The words often choked in his throat, but Robert knew they were necessary and felt relieved as the pressure to try to keep up old behavior diminished. Instead, he found comfort in the thought that "I loved the ‘good life’ and I hope to ride high again one day. But for now this is the job I have, I am employed, and I’m okay with that."

Job losses are a way of life these days and it’s important not to get too comfortable in the position you occupy now. Don’t let your ego get too tightly intertwined with the status and benefits of the job. It’s quite predictable that when that job goes down the drain, your sense of self-esteem and psychological well-being will go right along with it.

About the Author: 
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL and is author of 
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There and The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You!

Ask Dr. Webster....

Dear Dr. Webster:

I’m embarrassed to admit that I have outgrown my boyfriend. We’ve been together a long time and I feel bad that I’ve advanced professionally but he hasn't. What do I do?

-- Ashamed to Say

Dear Ashamed to Say:

It’s always tough when you feel a void in a relationship, but you two must talk. Your careers may carry a different level of status and prestige but that doesn’t have to make you incompatible. Usually the problem occurs because your new lifestyle requires meeting new people, going new places, and doing new things that your boyfriend may not like. Sometimes he simply feels awkward and unsure of how to behave, so prefers to remain quiet or to stay home altogether. Find out. You’ve been together a long time so there is reason to try to salvage the relationship if possible. Also, your boyfriend may want to grow professionally as well, but just may not know the first step to take. Talking about the problem may uncover this. If not, see a therapist and get some help so that you can be sure you’ve done all you can to get the relationship back on track. Sometimes the gap is wide and cannot really be fixed because the differences have become too great. Then moving on  may be the kindest thing to do so that each of you is free to be yourselves and to find a mate who is on the same wavelength.

--Dr. Webster

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Success Motivator

Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty, and persistence.

-- Colin Powell

Success Tip

Ideal Clients

"The biggest downfall of intrapreneurs and entrepreneurs is that they are willing to work with anyone who wants them. Whether you’re selling a product or a service, taking on a client that does not fit your ideal client profile is usually more trouble than it’s worth. These clients are usually the ones you do double the work for, and they are still not satisfied. If you take a close look at your client roster, you will also see that problem clients refer clients just like them – more problem clients; lucky you. With the time and energy you would save by not working with them, you could attract two more that you do want to work with. You need to get problems out of your life for good. The solution is to work only with ideal clients."

From the book:
Take Yourself To The Top

 by Laura Berman Fortgang Warner Books, New York, 1998

Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
drcarolwebster.com
954.797.9766
SuccessEzine@drcarolwebster.com

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