Success!Ezine
Volume 5 Issue 5 -- May 2007
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2006   All Rights Reserved

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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in consulting practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL providing professional development consultation, private practice development and promotion, media psychology and author consultation, as well as cultural competency consultation for clinicians and organizations in need of case review. Feel free to call or e-mail for more information.

Coping with Criticism

E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. 
Copyright ©  2007

 Criticism. Ouch. No matter how well it’s delivered – it hurts. Successful people like to feel that they’ve got it all together and it’s hard to keep that grand self-image when someone cuts you down. You want to defend yourself. Want to strike back. But resist the impulse. You operate from a position of strength when you understand how you’re coming across in the workplace, so try to take criticism in stride and learn from it.

Neutralize the look of horror on your face and resist the temptation to rant and rave when you are criticized. You can express yourself more openly in your personal life but remember that a different repertoire of behavior is necessary when you’re at work. A scowl, no matter how justified, is not going to get you anywhere. Nor is looking stricken and reduced to tears. While managers report seeing this more often nowadays, particularly with younger employees who have been raised to believe that it’s okay to emote freely, such a show can only diminish your stature. Get a grip and compose yourself. If you don’t feel you can respond rationally, keep your mouth shut. There is plenty of time to talk later and you can defend yourself then.

Even though you may want to scream, take deep breaths to settle your nerves and muster your best mental focus so you can hear the feedback you’re getting. Yes, there are bosses who are on an ego trip and enjoy blasting you for no reason, but hopefully yours isn’t one of these. Also, it takes time and energy to dish out criticism and many managers won’t put themselves out unless they view you as worth it. So assume that you show potential, that you’re an employee worth developing, and at least hear what’s being said to you.

Once you get over being furious and hurt, you’ll usually find that there’s a kernel of truth in the criticism you receive. Sure, it’s not always justified, but don’t be afraid to look at it more closely. Did a previous boss tell you the same thing? Does your significant other say this about you? Probably something you need to work on. Don’t be afraid to grow. Successful people understand the importance of professional development and realize that if they exhibit attitudes or behaviors that are undermining their performance, they need to do something about this.

 Criticism feels lousy even when it’s constructive but is necessary for positive growth. This is how we learn. Fortunately, most managers want to help you get ahead, not hinder you. Take their criticism into consideration and show them how you can shine!

Ask Dr. Webster...

Dear Dr. Webster: I have a good profile in the community and am a great businessman. I get lots of calls and consultations, but many of my customers don’t return. Repeat business is customary in my field and I need it to stay afloat, so what’s up with me?

 -- Not As Good As I Think?

Dear Not As Good As I Think?: Sorry, but I think you may be right. Something seems to be going on and you need to find out what it is – fast. But you're not alone. I get this question all the time. Many businesspeople enjoy the “thrill of the hunt” and do a fabulous job of prospecting and networking. They get tons of referrals and draw a lot of energy from this. But their interest and energy wanes once the customers come through the door. Clients pick up on this and respond by saying “thanks – but no thanks” and go elsewhere.  You might be able to limp along in business like this for a while but, if you plan to be around for any length of time, people need to feel good about coming back to see you.

In addition to this type of turnoff, sometimes other negatives are at work. They can be your office procedures and operations, or they can be your staff. Sometimes, again, it’s you. You may think that you know your business and that customers are satisfied with the quality of goods or services you provide, but do you know this to be true for a fact? Like larger companies that regularly assess customer satisfaction in order to keep their edge, you need to confirm that you are, indeed, meeting your clients’ needs. Take a look at the systems you have in place. If there are none, seek consultation to fix this so you can figure out whether you’re sufficiently on top of your game or are giving off vibes that are driving folks away.

  --Dr. Webster

Got a Question?

Ask Dr. Webster

Success Motivator

It's better to get smart than to get mad. I try not to get so insulted that I will not take advantage of an opportunity to persuade people to change their minds.

-- John H. Johnson

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Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
Success!Ezine@DrCarolWebster.com