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Success!Ezine
Volume 5 Issue 3-- March 2008
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved
Success!Ezine
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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and
speaker in
consulting practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL . Feel free to call or
e-mail for more information.
Dr. Webster is author of
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep
Your Sanity Once You Get There and The
Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! |
Feature Article
Are You A Bully Boss?
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2008
Workplace bullies cause an organization to suffer poor morale, low
productivity, and loss of talent. As this connection is being realized, more
employers are taking steps to rid their offices of this blight. So look out.
If you’re one who is prone to yell at staff in meetings, call them names,
insult their competency, or otherwise behave in a manner brings them to
tears – whether literally or not, chances are you’re a bully. Up to now, you
may have been allowed to get away with this abusive behavior because your
superiors value your expertise and rainmaking. But what they’re slowly
beginning to understand is that you’re costing them more than you’re
making for them and this is motivating them to clean house – not to mention
to adopt smarter risk management practices. So do yourself a favor and get
your toxic behavior under control before you’re shown the door.
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Accept
That You Are the Problem |
You probably don’t realize that you’re responsible for depressing staff
morale and causing people to leave by the droves but everyone else in the
company sure does. It is likely an established fact that you’ve had tons of
employees, but that most of them quit soon after they started working for
you and no one in house ever applies to take their place. Sure, you believe
that these people are all idiots and incompetents – but all of them?
And what about the fact that no one speaks up in your meetings or volunteers
for your projects? All lacking initiative and creativity? Everyone?
You can hear a pin drop outside your office because people would rather take
the long way to get wherever they’re going rather than risk running into
you. Those who are forced to deal with you try to cope with the mounting
rage they feel about your insults by overeating, boozing it up, using other
drugs or self-destructive means of making their contact with you tolerable.
As the emotional toll mounts and they feel they must get away from
you, many get physically ill, requiring them to spend more and more time out
of the office at doctor’s appointments or at home getting well. This costs
the company money in time wasted as staff avoid you, feel demoralized, and
fail to be able to work up to capacity. Ultimately, many just don’t have the
emotional energy to deal with it and go out on disability, take personnel
action, or leave the company altogether, resulting in huge costs to recruit,
rehire and retrain replacements.
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Listen
to Feedback |
Expect to start getting negative feedback about bullying behavior. Employees
are being encouraged and empowered to let you know when you’re speaking to
them in a demeaning manner or are otherwise treating them with disdain and
contempt. Some companies have formalized procedures in place to deal with
abuses of power in the workplace so expect to receive formal discipline if
you persist – and ultimately to lose your job if you don’t get it together.
So don’t wait for this to happen. Grit your teeth and listen to what’s being
said to you. Learn how you’re coming across to others and which of your
behaviors are offending so that you can do something about this. Typically,
workplace bullies are unhappy individuals who are taking their issues out on
those they work with, so it’s in your best interests to get a grip.
 |
Take
Steps to Change |
Once you’re forced to see the negative impact that you’re having on the
workplace, take steps to change your behavior. Whether you’re only motivated
by the fear of losing your job or genuinely want to become a more decent
human being – just make the decision to change. Accept executive coaching
if it is offered to you or ask for it yourself so that both you and the
company can fare better. And don’t hesitate to take advantage of your
company EAP to work on the issues that are motivating you to treat others
abusively. If you really don’t care about the havoc you’re wreaking in the
workplace and actually like yourself as you are, you must consider a
different type of position. Get career counseling. Look at other employment
options. You’ll probably feel better in a new job. This will enable your
company to put someone in your place who has the better temperament for
dealing with others, who can bring out the best in their work capabilities,
and create a more psychologically healthy workplace overall.
Workplace bullies are a drain on an organization and need to go. People
don’t come to work to be abused and they can’t work productively when
they’re seething with anger because of demeaning insults and power plays.
Bullying bosses often aren’t confronted because they are viewed as high
value players who fatten the company’s bottom line. But more and more
organizations are realizing that they pay a greater cost in terms of lost
time, productivity and talent by keeping bullies on board so don’t wait to
be disciplined. Put your ego in check and stop the bullying today or give
everyone a break and move on.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist and speaker in consulting practice in Fort
Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success:
Stop It From Stopping You!
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Ask Dr. Webster...
Dear Dr. Webster:
I love my boss but she’s so disorganized! When we go to meetings she keeps
digging in her purse for things and all kinds of stuff comes flying out like
old tissues, lipsticks, makeup brushes, keys, and stuff like that. Same as
her car. I hate to get in it because it’s always a mess and you need a
shovel to move all the stuff off the seat to sit down! She’s really sharp on
the job and is great to work for, but her habits give women managers a bad
name. I always feel so embarrassed!
-- Mortified About Messy Boss

Dear Mortified About Messy Boss: The behavior you describe would give
a male manager a bad name too, so it’s not a gender thing, but I do
understand what you mean. It’s the messiness itself that’s the problem. Your
boss’ pocketbook doesn’t have to look like a professional organizer packed
it, but she’s got to do better. She knows she’s going to have to reach for a
pen or business cards at some point in a meeting, so these items should be
made easy to retrieve without causing everything else in there to tumble out
onto the table and laps of people in attendance.
Your boss' messiness doesn’t necessarily indicate that she isn’t a capable,
efficient executive. But it most certainly does betray her lack of
appreciation for the fact that her management of items in her purse, on her
desk, in her car, and elsewhere becomes subjected to greater public scrutiny
as one becomes more successful and detracts from her image the more
disorganized and disheveled she appears. This may not be fair, but it’s the
way it is. Your boss probably isn’t as far along in her career as she
could be if she got her act together. So you’re right to feel that this
fumbling is a problem. But don’t take her problem on as your own. She’s
the one who needs to feel embarrassed, not you.
--Dr. Webster
Got a Question?
Ask Dr. Webster
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Success Motivator
Most people search high and wide for the keys to success. If they only
knew, the key to their dreams lies within.
-- George Washington Carver

Success Tip
Top Ten
Dumb Career Mistakes
1. Getting
Off to a Bad Start
2.
Alienating Your Boss
3. Having a
Bad Attitude
4. Not
Having Goals
5.
Mishandling Conflict
6.
Misplaying Office Politics
7.
Suffering from a Rotten Image
8.
Succumbing to Stress
and Burnout
9.
Stagnating
10. Letting Go
of Your Dreams
From the book:
Top Ten Dumb
Career Mistakes…
and how to avoid them
by Lona O’Connor
Chicago, IL, Career Horizons, 1999
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Missed
An Issue?
Here's another chance to read up on topics of interest: |
|
ISSUE |
FEATURE
ARTICLE |
|
February |
Overconfidence |
|
January 2008 |
Excite Enthusiasm |
|
December 2007 |
Holiday Rituals |
|
November 2007 |
Fear of Success |
|
October 2007 |
Making Mistakes - Part 2 |
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September 2007 |
Making Mistakes |
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August 2007 |
Dynamic Delegators |
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July 2007 |
Customer Relations |
|
June 2007 |
Compassion Fatigue |
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May 2007 |
Coping with Criticism |
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April 2007 |
Fix Faults to Stop Staff From
Fleeing |
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March 2007 |
For More Productivity,
Try Less Multitasking |
|
February 2007 |
Analysis Paralysis |
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January 2007 |
Leading During Times of Crisis |
|
2006 Issues |
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2005 Issues |
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2004 Issues |
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2003 Issues |
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Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
Success!Ezine@DrCarolWebster.com
Disclaimer: The information in this
newsletter is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a
substitute for obtaining direct professional help. |
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