Feature Article
Fight
the Fear of Failure
Copyright © 2004
Dr. E. Carol
Webster
The fear of failure will
hold you back. Many people don’t get ahead in life because they fear
stepping out of their comfort zone. They keep doing the same things the same
way, looking for different results without realizing that success requires
taking some risks. Often they’ve been subjected to a lot of criticism in
their lives – particularly when they’ve tried to think for themselves or do
something new. They learned to “play it safe” – even to their own detriment,
rather than experience possible disappointment or defeat and have to hear
about it from others. Unfortunately, this approach prevents progress. It
keeps you stuck marching in place rather than forging a new path that may
mean greater opportunities and happiness for you.
Where
do you want to go?
Part of tackling the fear
of failure is deciding what success looks like. Where are you trying to get
to? If it’s a new job, what will it entail? Where is it located ideally?
Visualize the plan. Give it some life. You can’t attain something when you
have no idea what it is. And allow yourself to fantasize – to shoot higher
than maybe you do normally. You can always settle for less later. For now,
go for the gusto!
What
do you have to do to get there?
Once you have some ideas
in mind, identify the steps you will have to take to make success happen.
When you’re afraid of failure, you like to believe that things “just happen
somehow” or are due to luck, instead of accepting that you have the power to
control some things in your life – even if not everything – and you can take
steps to increase your chances of winning. So, what’s necessary to go for
the new job? Update your resume. Call friends and associates who can provide
you with information or outright help you get an interview. Identify those
things that will move you closer to your goal. And don’t be afraid of this
process. Just thinking about what you need to do doesn’t commit you to a
decision, so give yourself “permission” to freely formulate a plan.
What’s
the worst that will happen?
Combat crippling fear by
identifying the worst possible outcomes if you take the plunge. You are
already playing a litany of criticisms in your head, so just get them out in
the open. Then you can deal with them. Minimize your chances of failing by
actively visualizing all the things that could go wrong and by putting plans
in place to deal with each of them. You avoid failure as best you can by
being prepared.
Take
some action!
You can’t win if you’re
not in the game. You’ve got to make a decision to try. Success is not
guaranteed and you might lose, but you are certain to get nowhere if you do
nothing.
Failure
is Not the End of the World
When you try to move forward and things don’t work
out, feelings of failure will occur and are upsetting but they don’t make
you a failure. You are more than any single decision you make or action
you take. So, don’t let your emotions make a bad situation seem worse than
it actually is. Try to identify the lesson you can learn from the failure so
that you can avoid making the same mistake in the future. That will
spell success the next time.
It takes work to fight the
fear of failure and often the process must be ongoing. Try taking baby steps
to move out of your comfort zone so that the fear does not overwhelm you –
but take some steps. You’ll feel empowered and proud of yourself. Most
importantly, you’ll move closer to getting what you want in life so seek
success coaching if self-help is not working for you. Get in the game so you
can win!
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Fort
Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success:
Stop It From Stopping You!
