Yes, I know: You don’t want to make any New Year’s Resolutions because you’re certain you won’t keep them. Don’t worry. You’ve got plenty of company. But as the saying goes — “The failure to plan is a plan to fail” — definitely. So don’t set yourself up for another year of failed personal growth. Go through the resolution ritual anyway so that at least you acknowledge those things you need to improve and make some effort to do something about them.

 What are you dissatisfied with? The list may be very long, but try to lump similar problems together so that you have manageable goals to target. For many people, losing weight is at the top of the list each year. Finding more time to spend with family and to have a “personal life” is often second. Learning how to “work smarter rather than harder” frequently comes in third. That’s about enough. Actually, focusing on just one of these at a time is probably sufficient because the potential obstacles to attaining them are plentiful and it just takes a few frustrations to convince you to scrap the goal altogether.

 So just what are the obstacles you expect will get in your way? Usually, there’s no secret here. After many years of trying, people usually have a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen to get them off track. Let’s take the weight loss thing: You say you’re going to get up an hour earlier each day to go to the gym or that you’re going to start going after work. Well let’s scrap the latter right away since you rarely get out of the office before midnight so there’s no need pretending about that one. Don’t bother to set a goal that is so unrealistic just because it sounds good or works well for lots of other people. Clearly, it’s not going to work for you so forget about it. How about waking up an hour earlier to go to the gym – or even to exercise at home? Not likely either because you’re getting in so late, feeling deprived as it is, and will feel even more deprived if you have to routinely force yourself to get up early. That plan will be sabotaged in short order. And, while you may feel terribly guilty about not sticking with it, you still won’t do it. Period. So let’s hold the thought about losing weight to see if it can’t be accomplished some other way.

 It sounds great to say that you want to spend more time with your family and/or friends so that you have some degree of a personal life. This is a very fulfilling experience for many people, but can be a serious emotional drain for others. It often explains why this goal is quickly sabotaged in many cases because you feel less stressed and aggravated at work than you do being at home. So, though you’ve set a goal of getting home early to be with the family, you find that by the time you get in the door all the evening activity is over and everyone is asleep or well on their way to bed. It’s critical to be honest with yourself about this one and to get help for the relationship or for your own avoidance of your “at-home responsibility” rather than continue to duck out on the problem.

 But, if you truly feel fulfilled and not deprived by your home life, set a realistic goal. That is not resolving to get home early every night because that’s not likely to happen – at least not right away. But try starting with the weekend and some activity that you can all enjoy doing together. For some diehard workaholic families, this may simply be having a meal together. Incorporate that weight loss goal and make it a healthy cooking activity or simply resolve to make this a time when you will eat healthier in general. Some families and friends can combine both goals by using time on the weekend to learn golf together, go bike riding or even just walk around the grocery store or shopping mall if you enjoy it and establish a routine.

And, notice that it’s not necessary to begin by busting a sweat everyday, revamping your entire nutritional pattern, or trying to devote all of your out-of-office time to your family. If you can do more, then great, but better to start with small, easily obtainable steps in the beginning so that you don’t trigger too much frustration and that psychological feeling of deprivation. Even the third goal of working smarter and not harder can be incorporated by including steps that require you to finish checking your e-mail, answering any phone calls, and putting other work aside so that you are free during this block of time for the family activity or outing. Yes, I know you feel indispensable and as if you must remain plugged in at all times, but if you dropped dead tomorrow those tasks would have to wait and eventually you would be replaced by someone else – so don’t make yourself more important that you are. The tasks can wait while you replenish yourself and enjoy some time with your family and friends.

 New Year’s Resolutions often fail because they are much too lengthy and complex. The beginning of each year feels like a time for rebirth and redefinition, but you’re not going to make yourself into a totally new person so let that go. Psychologically, one small step that you accomplish successfully is more empowering and rewarding than a long list of grand plans that failed. Take stock of what you like about yourself and your life as it is now and what you would like to change. Focus in on the area of greatest discontent and tackle one aspect of this problem that you know you can accomplish without much upheaval to the way you are doing things now. As you manage that simple step, you’ll likely find other small ways to make additional changes. By the end of the year, you may be surprised that the simple step has actually resulted in changes that constitute more success than you resolved to make on New Year’s Day.

 Few areas carry such an immediate mental expectation of failure as New Year’s Resolutions. But, it doesn’t have to be this way. Do things differently this year ― Expect Success! Get a clear picture in your mind of what it looks like to enjoy Friday nights out with your spouse sampling new restaurants as you try to learn to eat healthier foods, or what it looks like to finally join your friends who go dancing on Saturdays. Visualize yourself successfully pressing the “off” button of your cell phone as you prepare to take your kids on a Sunday drive or while you enjoy some quiet time by yourself to clear your head. Carrying out the steps in your mind makes it easier to do in real life, so view yourself in action, successfully achieving the goal you’re striving for. Finally, put yourself on the hook and tell others what you’re trying to accomplish. Yes, this will put pressure on you to really take your resolutions seriously. But, isn’t this what you want? To seriously change your behavior, your life? Then put the heat on yourself, expect to succeed, and make this a great New Year by getting seriously busy!