Is Your
Mate Ready For Your Success?
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 1998, 2003
Those on the fast track for success must take care to
select romantic partners who understand their career goals. This may sound
calculating, but many otherwise compatible, loving couples wind up at each
other’s throats because of conflicting expectations.
The more successful you become, the more others want
you and your time. That doesn’t leave a lot left over for those you love
and who love you dearest. They must be strong, emotionally self-sufficient
individuals who can move on with their lives and own accomplishments
without needing your involvement every step of the way. They also must be
willing to carry a good deal of the workload of the relationship, since a
lot will fall on their shoulders. There’s not much you can do about the
leaky faucet or mold growing in the refrigerator if you’re spending most
of your time on out-of-town travel, for example.
This problem gets more complicated when children are involved and may
cause you to feel guilty. Who’s going to make it to that PTA meeting
or basketball practice? If you’re clocking in 12 hours a day at your
business, chances are it won’t be you ¾ at
least not on a routine basis. Attaining higher levels of success means
prioritizing and setting limits on the things you can and can’t do. It
means rejecting the role of "superwoman" or "superman", and expecting your
Success Entourage to back you up.
Mobilize Your Success Entourage
It's not only performers and athletes who need a Success Entourage. You need one
too. These are people in your life who understand your daily demands and
help you survive and thrive. Like the housekeeper who cleans once a week,
and the day care center that watches the children after school. But, the
Success Entourage also includes your mate and children, too. These
important people in your life need to understand what you’re trying to
accomplish in your career and help you do your best.
Your mate must be the type of person who is not threatened by your
success ¾ one who fills with pride when
accompanying you to award banquets and other affairs where you are the
center of attention ¾ the star. This individual
must help the children understand why you can’t always personally address
their needs. Your mate must feel secure in your love and help them feel
loved and safe in spite of your absence. He or she knows that what
you’re doing is important to your success, and that the relationship will
benefit, too.
Is your mate ready for
your success?
Probably, if she or he does not:
Success should be enjoyable and rewarding.
Make sure that your mate enhances the quality of your
life and is not a drag on it. Get counseling if necessary. If you’re not
yet in a relationship, take heart: There are potential mates out there who
are secure about themselves and their own accomplishments, and who will
take pride and pleasure in serving as a key member of your Success
Entourage. This search takes time, but will be well worth the wait.
Expect the best! Don’t settle for less.
