It’s great to
be smart and have a high IQ, but what’s your EQ? EQ
stands for Emotional Intelligence, and refers to your
skill in identifying and understanding your feelings so that
you manage your behavior and resulting interactions with
others well. It helps you excel as a leader, increases your
effectiveness when you work in a team or workgroup, and
distinguishes you as a winner in the eyes of your customers,
clients, or other constituents. Even though you are a high
achiever and may hold a top position, your EQ may not be
that great. Indeed, often those who hold positions in the
middle ranks of organizations have higher EQ’s than their
bosses! Fortunately, unlike IQ, you can significantly
improve your EQ with a little work. What skills do you need
to improve?
Self-Awareness
Are you in touch with your emotions? At the time they are
occurring? It’s important to be able to understand that you
are feeling a certain way and to think about how you need to
respond before taking any action. This includes being able
to recognize and process positive emotions as well as those
that are negative.
Self-Management
While there’s nothing wrong with being impulsive at times
and responding “in the moment” or “off the cuff”, you can’t
get far making a habit of this. Nor can you be so rigid in
your response that you become inflexible and robotically
predictable. You must be able to take stock of your feelings
in any given situation and determine the best response.
Intense emotions should not cause you to “draw a blank” and
fail to take effective action. However, when you are in
control of your emotions, you can look critically at a
situation and may make a conscious decision that the best
response is no response.
Social
Awareness
Can you figure out what other people are feeling? What they
are really saying or thinking? If usually you don’t
have a clue, you need to work on this skill. The point isn’t
necessarily to agree with them or to give them what they
want, but you have to understand the issues that concern
them and the reactions they’re having to you, for example,
in order to be effective.
Relationship
Management
Dealing with people requires skill in expressing yourself
and in adeptly dealing with the interplay of emotions and
behaviors that take place. This helps you to build
relationships with people that are meaningful and that stand
the test of time, both in your personal life as well as in
your business or professional activities.
Raise
Your EQ
If you recognize the need to improve your emotional
intelligence, remember that it is possible to grow.
Take the time to strengthen weak skills so that you are
truly smart in being an effective manager of yourself and
your relationships.
