It’s great to be smart and have a high IQ, but what’s your EQ? EQ stands for Emotional Intelligence, and refers to your skill in identifying and understanding your feelings so that you manage your behavior and resulting interactions with others well. It helps you excel as a leader, increases your effectiveness when you work in a team or workgroup, and distinguishes you as a winner in the eyes of your customers, clients, or other constituents. Even though you are a high achiever and may hold a top position, your EQ may not be that great. Indeed, often those who hold positions in the middle ranks of organizations have higher EQ’s than their bosses! Fortunately, unlike IQ, you can significantly improve your EQ with a little work. What skills do you need to improve?

 Self-Awareness

Are you in touch with your emotions? At the time they are occurring? It’s important to be able to understand that you are feeling a certain way and to think about how you need to respond before taking any action. This includes being able to recognize and process positive emotions as well as those that are negative.

 Self-Management

While there’s nothing wrong with being impulsive at times and responding “in the moment” or “off the cuff”, you can’t get far making a habit of this. Nor can you be so rigid in your response that you become inflexible and robotically predictable. You must be able to take stock of your feelings in any given situation and determine the best response. Intense emotions should not cause you to “draw a blank” and fail to take effective action. However, when you are in control of your emotions, you can look critically at a situation and may make a conscious decision that the best response is no response.

 Social Awareness

Can you figure out what other people are feeling? What they are really saying or thinking? If usually you don’t have a clue, you need to work on this skill. The point isn’t necessarily to agree with them or to give them what they want, but you have to understand the issues that concern them and the reactions they’re having to you, for example, in order to be effective.

 Relationship Management

Dealing with people requires skill in expressing yourself and in adeptly dealing with the interplay of emotions and behaviors that take place. This helps you to build relationships with people that are meaningful and that stand the test of time, both in your personal life as well as in your business or professional activities.

 Raise Your EQ

If you recognize the need to improve your emotional intelligence, remember that it is possible to grow. Take the time to strengthen weak skills so that you are truly smart in being an effective manager of yourself and your relationships.