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Success!Ezine
Volume 6 Issue 12 -- December 2009
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved
Success!Ezine
is a Free newsletter provided to you by
Dr. E. Carol Webster to help you get ahead in life
and enjoy your success.
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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist
consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Feel free to call or
e-mail for more information.
Dr. Webster is author of
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep
Your Sanity Once You Get There and The
Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! |
Feature Article
Shrink Spending This
Holiday Season
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2009
‘Tis
the season to be jolly, but chances are the recession isn’t making your
money feel too merry this year. Even those who are flush with cash are
scaling back on their spending, so if your budget is tight you are
especially encouraged to rethink your usual holiday spending.
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Think Before You Shop
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The days of impulse spending are over, so be wise and give some thought
to what you intend to purchase before you hit the stores. You are much
more likely to control what you spend if you identify who you need to
shop for, what would make a nice gift for your loved ones, and where you
can get the best buys for your money. Many people don’t like making
lists because they feel that it restrains their shopping – but that’s
exactly the point this year. Get a grip on your spending. Figure out
exactly what you can afford to spend and make a plan for how you’re
going to make it stretch to do your holiday shopping.
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Use Cash
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Bummer, yes, but effective. When you’re dolling out those nickels and
pennies you tend to shop much more wisely. The dwindling cash in your
wallet reminds you that your resources are limited and that maybe that
extra gift really isn’t necessary after all. Don’t face the New Year
saddled with more debt. Allocate the amount you can afford to spend and
when it’s gone – your shopping is done!
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Separate Your Ego from Your Spending
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The biggest problem with holiday shopping is the association of ego with
the presents being given. You love the fact that your gifts put smiles
on the faces of others and that you are giving them presents that they
would never get for themselves. This makes you feel like a big shot, but
this year you need to let that go. Like everyone else, you are probably
feeling the pinch of the recession in some way, so drop the “front”.
Agree that everyone will only spend a certain amount, will only buy for
the kids, will make homemade gifts, or will forego gift giving
altogether if that is what works for your family’s circumstances. Don’t
let pride cause you to make purchase decisions you will regret once the
revelry and cheer are over.
This is a time to enjoy the merriment of the season and to exchange
good tidings with your loved ones. But is it NOT a time to get further
in debt and to cause yourself to despair and to feel stressed out in the
New Year. The recession is impacting everyone, so there is no shame in
restraining your spending and bolstering your ability to stand strong
until this economic crisis is over. Remember, that the important thing
is to rejoice in the time spent with those you care about – not to
define yourself by the amount of money you spent on them.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success: Stop
It From Stopping You!
|
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Ask Dr. Webster...
Dear Dr. Webster:
I’m going home
for the holidays and can’t wait to see all my family and friends. I really
need this vacation and want to rest and do fun stuff once the main holiday
days are over. But every year this never works out because everybody gets
upset that I’m not spending all my time with them. Or they say I’m just
sitting on my butt and not helping out. How can I enjoy my vacation without
making everybody mad?
--Going Home
for the Holidays
Dear Going
Home for the Holidays: Regular readers of Success!Ezine know the
answer to this one immediately: You’re not going on vacation. You’re
going to visit your family and friends. They’re two different types of trips
and it’s very difficult to do both simultaneously without getting the
reaction you get each year. Family and friends expect you to be available to
them when you’re in town and to want to do things with them. This includes
helping to cook, clean, and all the other day to day things that go along
with being “at home” and not a “guest”. Certainly, you should try to carve
out the time you want to spend on your own and let everyone know that you’ll
be doing something else on these days. The more advance notice you give, the
better. This helps lower expectations and helps them prepare for your
unavailability psychologically. But, still, not everyone will be okay with
this. Some people find that it helps to stay in a hotel because they can
sleep late when they want, have some time alone, and can come and go with
greater ease and privacy overall. But many families find this practice
“insulting” and may give you grief about it. You should feel free to try a
new approach since your usual method has not been working out and you’re
entitled to enjoy your time off as you please. Just don’t expect your family
and friends to be thrilled about it. (And the dishes still may be waiting
for you to wash once you make it to the house.) In the future, schedule your
trips to visit others at separate times and locations from your vacations
when you don’t want to share a good chunk of yourself, time, and energy with
them.
--Dr. Webster
Got a Question?
Ask Dr. Webster
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Success Motivator
Better are loaves when the heart is joyous, than riches in unhappiness.
-- Amenenope
Success Tip
holiday celebrations
Great expectations around what a holiday celebration “should” be like can be
most upsetting and disappointing. We come to look upon the holiday time as
the perfect celebration, in the image of Norman Rockwell, if you will. For
many people, depression – the sense of hopelessness, helplessness, and
worthlessness – rests on the fact that you are comparing what you feel
should be with what is. The greater the disparity, the greater the
depression. Giving up expectations that others have of you, whether about
gift-giving or the type of celebration, will go a long way in diminishing
holiday blues.
From the book:
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
by Michael Mantell, Ph.D.
Impact Publishers, San Luis Obispo, CA, 1988 |
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Missed
An Issue?
Here's another chance to read up on topics of interest: |
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ISSUE |
FEATURE
ARTICLE |
|
November 2009 |
Praise Propels Performance |
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October 2009 |
Inflated Egos Ignore Ethics |
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September 2009 |
Incivility in the Workplace |
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August 2009 |
Enhance Your Image |
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July 2009 |
Value Vacation |
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June 2009 |
Helplessness Hinders Success |
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May 2009 |
Post Downsizing Stress Syndrome |
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April 2009 |
Don't Be Foolish in Fallen
Economy |
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March 2009 |
Hang Tough In Tough Times |
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February 2009 |
Talk Straight During Uncertain
Times |
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January 2009 |
Career Contentment |
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2008 Issues |
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2007 Issues |
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2006 Issues |
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2005 Issues |
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2004 Issues |
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2003 Issues |
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Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
Ezine@DrCarolWebster.com
Disclaimer: The information in this
newsletter is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a
substitute for obtaining direct professional help. |
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