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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
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Success!Ezine
Volume 3 Issue 12 -- December 2005
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Copyright 2005   All Rights Reserved

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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL and author of Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There and The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You!

 

Feature Article
 

Holiday Gift Giving

Dr. E. Carol Webster
Copyright ©  2005

‘Tis the season to be jolly and to exchange gifts at work, but not all employees are thrilled about this practice. Grab bag gift giving rituals can be particularly galling. Your staff may feel put upon and obligated to shop for someone they don’t know very well and may not even like. The ‘spirit of giving’ feels contrived for many. Typically, these are not self-absorbed, stingy people who just don’t want to give a gift to someone else. They simply don’t feel anything for the individuals involved or for the process and, thus, experience great stress, resentment, and often financial hardship as they make an earnest effort to come up with a present that won’t make them feel embarrassed or like a cheap-skate during the unwrapping ritual. Even when a monetary cap is put on the cost of gifts, there is a competitive spirit that persists as each employee vies to have his or hers be viewed as “best”. This type of stress is to be expected this time of year when shopping for friends and family that people care about. But there can be high stress in work situations too because of the additional worries about how their gift will be perceived – by their coworkers – by you, their boss – by the manager they hope to get to work for next year…

 Do-It-Yourself Gift Giving Practices
Can Reinforce Feelings of Employee Undervaluation

 Employee-driven gift-giving practices enable companies to foster a sense of workplace merriment during the holidays, but often these companies are doing so on the cheap. Like encouraging pot luck–style holiday feasts instead of picking up the tab themselves. Typically employees have come up with these shared-responsibility/make sure there’s something-for-all gift giving practices because they feel the need to acknowledge one another. Often implied is that they don’t really feel valued by the company so they look for ways to express feelings of worth to each other. But many of the gift giving practices that have evolved have long since lost the basic requirement – that they have some emotional relevance to both giver and recipient. Once the practice causes your staff simply to go through the motions – it’s time for that ritual to go.

 Show Appreciation and Relieve Employee Stress
by Being the Gift Giver

 As a business owner and/or manager, you can include the cost of some modest gifts along with the expenses of the holiday office party and – voila`—you’ve relieved a ton of stress for everybody. Those who go into hock each year by spending more for coworker gifts than they can afford will get a chance to stabilize their finances. They may even stop swiping writing tablets and other office supplies throughout year because they feel more appreciated and less “justified” in making up for the strain in their budget. Those who resent the obligatory shopping routine altogether will be off the hook and will feel grateful to you. Those who still want to exchange gifts with special colleagues are free to do so on their own, though it should be made clear that no one is forced to do so or to be made to feel like a “non-team player” if they don’t. An employer who insists to its management team and staff: “It’s our policy to do the gift-giving around here” will put a smile on many faces and engender loyalty in many hearts.

 Your employees understand the need to contribute to the financial bottom line by working hard for you throughout the year but, in all reality, this is your company and they secretly appreciate not having to buy their own “thank you” too. Of course this can get expensive when you own or run a big company. But taking lead responsibility for this process, even when only small tokens of appreciation can be given, enhances your stature as a generous, appreciative employer who deserves to receive top productivity from staff. Take advantage of this opportunity at the end of the year to thank them for their contribution to your success and acknowledge their accomplishments. You will inspire reciprocal generosity towards the company and set a great tone for the year ahead!

 About the Author: 
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL and is author of 
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You!

 

 

Ask Dr. Webster...

Dear Dr. Webster: I’m an exhibitor for a professional association and sometimes share a booth with an associate from another organization. He spends most of the time on his cell phone and barely takes a breath long enough to talk to prospects who come to our table. I think this looks awful. Is this my business?

 -- Bothered in the Booth

Dear Bothered in the Booth:  It most certainly is your business.  Your colleague’s unprofessional behavior is very likely negatively affecting your efforts to project a professional image and demeanor as you try to represent your association and attract new members, serve existing members, or inform the public about your services. Instead, his behavior portrays a lack of self-control and neglect of the priority at hand, clearly giving the appearance of goofing off while at work.

Even business-related calls – unless a matter of utmost urgency – could probably wait until the exhibition period is over or else these calls should be taken away from the immediate area of the booth. If one is well known in his or her field and well-identified with the organization being represented, I suggest stepping outside the Exhibition Hall altogether to make or take any calls. Certainly, attendees should not have to try to talk over your colleague’s personal chatter and banter to get information about his or your companies. This can hardly inspire them to want to do business with an organization that gives their needs so little attention before they’ve even become a “customer”.

So by all means feel free to speak up and express the need to maintain a tightly professional, polished image for your association. If you get no cooperation, go it alone next time or find a new booth partner in the future.

--Dr. Webster

 

Got a Question?

Ask Dr. Webster

Success Motivator

Every business has two financial objectives. One is to make money and the other is to make money consistently.

 -- Don Davis

  Success Tip

 The "On Stage" Phenomena

Being "on stage" means being "in costume" and ready to perform. Borrowed from the theater, this notion refers to the need to play the role of a successful person even on your worst day...The world often has great compassion for ordinary citizens and their right to have a "bad day," but achievers aren't usually given such luxuries. If you are successful, or want to be, you will need to weigh the consequences of maintaining your image. This is particularly true if a change means projecting anything other than the image that has been associated with your success.

You always maintain the right to change and to be who you wish to be. However, the change you select for yourself may not fit with the image of success you already maintain. In the struggle to reconcile this discrepancy, others demote you from your celebrity position. They do this because you are no longer playing the part of a successful person. This may seem very unfair and underscores the fact that success can be fleeting. But, this is life in the fast lane and you must be prepared for it.

   From the book:

Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There

 by E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL: Privileged Communications, Inc.
 1993

 

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November 2005 Coping With Disaster
October 2005 Settling For Less
September 2005 Empty Nest Can Trigger Stress

August 2005

Sluggish At Work? Get More Sleep At Home

July 2005

Living in the Fishbowl

June 2005

Summer Vacation

May 2005

Lazy Leadership

April 2005

Are You A Pushover?

March 2005

Working Hard? or Hardly Working?

February 2005

Business Networking

January 2005

Make Your Success A Priority
This New Year

2004 Issues

2003 Issues

Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
SuccessEzine@DrCarolWebster.com

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