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Success!Ezine
Volume 1 Issue 10 -- December 2003
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2003 All Rights Reserved
Success!Ezine
is a Free newsletter provided to you by Dr. E. Carol Webster to help you
get ahead in life and enjoy your success.
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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist
in private practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL and author of
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep
Your Sanity Once You Get There and The
Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! |
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Feature Article
Holiday Blues
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2003
It’s the time of year
when many people suffer holiday blues. While friends and family are upbeat
and looking forward to the season, you feel glum and annoyed that it’s
here. There can be many reasons for this, but a central problem often is
that you don’t feel that you’re as far along in your life as you should be
and this causes you to feel disconnected from all the merriment around
you. Different issues can account for this. Which one describes why your
spirits are down?
Success
Still Eludes Me
In spite of working very
hard, you feel you haven’t gotten far. This breeds a lot of resentment and
bitterness that merit system -- which insists, “just work hard and you
will be rewarded” -- doesn’t seem to be panning out for you. Indeed, some
who don’t seem to work nearly as hard but who are good wheelers and
dealers may be whizzing past you. This adds to your pessimism and feelings
of “why bother?” But take heart. You’re not alone. Many folks are working
longer and harder than they used to, have fewer staff and perks, and feel
stymied in their careers too.
Is
This All There Is?
Even if you’re one of
the luckier ones who is moving ahead, you can still find yourself bothered
by a nagging sense of unhappiness and melancholy this time of the year.
All the symbols around you set an expectation for joy and merriment, but
you may not feel that the new promotion you received and your new station
in life is all it was hyped up to be. Perhaps it’s not as glamorous. Maybe
the perquisites are not as plentiful or rewarding as you anticipated
they’d be. Sometimes your sadness is coming from the stark realization
that employers or customers pay you the “big bucks” because they expect to
get that amount — and more
— back from you. Sure, you may have the
freedom to take time off when you want to and can do more of what you
please. Unfortunately, like most at the top, you find that you simply
don’t have the luxury of doing so because there’s too much work to do!
Where
Do I Go From Here?
Some people are pleased
with the progress they’ve made professionally and continue to enjoy the
benefits of their position, but feel discontent at this time of year
because they are reviewing where they are in life and feel the need to
move on. While the job may hold your interest and provide gratification,
you may be a person who needs new challenges and don’t feel content unless
you’re confronting unknown horizons. This is in contrast to people who are
great managers and enjoy making sure that things keep running smoothly.
These are the folks who are content to remain in the same job for 20
years. Others need to make their mark in uncharted territory in order to
feel fulfilled. Once that job is done and things become routine, they feel
the need to go. You may be one of those people. If so, it’s time to figure
out where you’re going from here.
The end of the year
provokes self-reflection and this can bring to light areas of discontent and
unhappiness. But, it’s possible to shake the holiday blues. Figure out why
you’re feeling discontent and then take action to do something about it.
 |
Update Your Success Plan |
Take advantage of the
holidays to schedule some time off and update your Success Plan. This will
help you to end the year with a better understanding of what you need to do
to advance your career in the future. Where had you hoped to be at this
point? How far off the mark are you? You have to be able to see the end
point or else you have little chance of getting there.
Now let’s be
very clear about this.
You must be able to
visualize where you’re headed in a concrete manner. What’s the job called?
In what kind of settings is it located? What are its requirements? How have
others gotten into these positions? And then – most importantly – exactly
what have you done to qualify and position yourself for this career move or
business opportunity? Often people suffer frustration because they only have
a vague idea about what they’re trying to get into and, even more often,
have done very little to strengthen their marketability and access to these
opportunities.
|
Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Take Action |
When you’re feeling glum
you don’t feel like doing very much. Though you’re unhappy, you’re in a
familiar rut or comfort zone and can find a lot of excuses for not moving
out of it. But that’s exactly what you have to do. Dig deep for your inner
strength, take a big breath, and get about the business of targeting where
you’re headed next so that you can build the necessary skills and contacts
you need to get there. This may mean shifting into a new field or
relocating. It may require making major changes in your life but you must
follow the opportunities. They’re not going to chase you down.
If you come to the
realization that your malaise is stemming from the inevitable routine and
loss of glitz that occurs once the newness of anything wears off, then you
have to adjust your expectations and attitude. There is great benefit in
being one of those individuals who keep things running smoothly and who
learn how to master routine on behalf of their company or business. This is
a critical role and one to be quite proud of. On the other hand, if you are
concluding that you’re a person who is only stimulated and gratified by new
and unfamiliar challenges and territory, then pry yourself out of your
comfort zone, set your sights on a new target, and get moving!
About the
Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Fort
Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success:
Stop It From Stopping You!
|
|
Ask
Dr. Webster....
Dear Dr. Webster:
I am required to attend a lot of company-related
gatherings during the holidays and hate them all. This year I'm
thinking about taking vacation so I can get out of them. Big mistake?
--Party Pooper
Dear Party Pooper: In a word -- "Yes". Though of
course you can request vacation whenever you want, the fact that you are
"required" to attend these company events means that your management team
views your participation as important. For some company employees, this is
the only time they get to access leadership directly. This is of value to
many and is an opportunity for them to try to advance their careers, to feel
appreciated, and to replenish the motivation to work hard for you next year.
But the fact that you are required to attend also
suggests that these activities are part of your job and, as such, constitute
dimensions of your own performance evaluation. In this case, you need to
understand that this is not a company "social obligation". This is a
work obligation. Thus, if you're looking to
get ahead on this job, ducking out of these responsibilities is not a great
decision. You're being asked to attend these holiday events to thank
employees for their contributions and commitment to the company
— especially in lean economic times when they're
having to do so much more with less. Worst thing for any company is to have
a room full of employees take the time to show up for these events only to
find that the company leadership doesn't feel it's important enough for them
to do the same.
--Dr. Webster
Got a Question?
Ask Dr. Webster
|
Success
Motivator
To get where you want to go you can't only do what you
like.
-- Peter Abrahams
Success Tip
Know Where You're Going
"Winners in life have clearly defined,
constantly referred to, game plans and purposes. They know where they're
going every day, every month, every year. Their objectives range all the way
from daily priorities to lifetime goals. And when they're not actively
pursuing their goals, they're thinking about them—hard!...Winners
say, "I have a plan to make it happen. I'll do what's necessary to get what
I want." Losers say, "I'll try to hang in there—muddle through the day
somehow." "
From the book:
The Psychology of Winning
by Dr. Denis Waitley
Berkley Books, New York, 1979. |
Missed
An Issue?
Here's another chance to read up on topics of interest: |
| ISSUE |
FEATURE
ARTICLE |
|
March 2003 |
Is Fear Holding You Back? |
|
April 2003 |
Stress of War Can Depress You |
|
May 2003 |
Is Your Mate Ready For Your
Success? |
|
June 2003 |
Summer is Great Time for Power
Couples to Recharge and Reconnect |
|
July 2003 |
Fear of Rejection Ruins
Rainmaking |
|
August 2003 |
Procrastination Paints Poor
Picture of You |
|
September 2003 |
Personal Problems Plummet Job
Performance |
|
October 2003 |
Loss of Job Security Can Mean
Loss of Emotional Security Too |
|
November
2003 |
Prepare For The Impact of Success
on Your Personal Life |
|
Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology
drcarolwebster.com
954.797.9766
SuccessEzine@drcarolwebster.com
Disclaimer: The information in this
newsletter is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a
substitute for obtaining direct professional help. |
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