Coping with Criticism

E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. 
Copyright ©  2007

 Criticism. Ouch. No matter how well it’s delivered – it hurts. Successful people like to feel that they’ve got it all together and it’s hard to keep that grand self-image when someone cuts you down. You want to defend yourself. Want to strike back. But resist the impulse. You operate from a position of strength when you understand how you’re coming across in the workplace, so try to take criticism in stride and learn from it.

Neutralize the look of horror on your face and resist the temptation to rant and rave when you are criticized. You can express yourself more openly in your personal life but remember that a different repertoire of behavior is necessary when you’re at work. A scowl, no matter how justified, is not going to get you anywhere. Nor is looking stricken and reduced to tears. While managers report seeing this more often nowadays, particularly with younger employees who have been raised to believe that it’s okay to emote freely, such a show can only diminish your stature. Get a grip and compose yourself. If you don’t feel you can respond rationally, keep your mouth shut. There is plenty of time to talk later and you can defend yourself then.

Even though you may want to scream, take deep breaths to settle your nerves and muster your best mental focus so you can hear the feedback you’re getting. Yes, there are bosses who are on an ego trip and enjoy blasting you for no reason, but hopefully yours isn’t one of these. Also, it takes time and energy to dish out criticism and many managers won’t put themselves out unless they view you as worth it. So assume that you show potential, that you’re an employee worth developing, and at least hear what’s being said to you.

Once you get over being furious and hurt, you’ll usually find that there’s a kernel of truth in the criticism you receive. Sure, it’s not always justified, but don’t be afraid to look at it more closely. Did a previous boss tell you the same thing? Does your significant other say this about you? Probably something you need to work on. Don’t be afraid to grow. Successful people understand the importance of professional development and realize that if they exhibit attitudes or behaviors that are undermining their performance, they need to do something about this.

 Criticism feels lousy even when it’s constructive but is necessary for positive growth. This is how we learn. Fortunately, most managers want to help you get ahead, not hinder you. Take their criticism into consideration and show them how you can shine!

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