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Success!Ezine
Volume 5 Issue 4-- April 2008
DrCarolWebster.com
Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved
Success!Ezine
is a Free newsletter provided to you by
Dr. E. Carol Webster to help you get ahead in life
and enjoy your success.
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E. Carol Webster, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and
speaker in
consulting practice in Fort Lauderdale, FL . Feel free to call or
e-mail for more information.
Dr. Webster is author of
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep
Your Sanity Once You Get There and The
Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! |
Feature Article
Coping with Loss of Stature
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2008
In this age of continuous downsizing, many professionals who thought they’d
be retiring with the coveted gold watch are finding that they’re being given
the boot at the height of their careers instead. You have every reason to
feel depressed about this and have a lot of company throughout the country.
Though you’re told not to take it personally, it’s hard not to when
your very identify is tied up in the position you used to hold. But, like
the Phoenix that arises from the ashes, you can too – just start taking
steps to avoid being permanently consumed by the despair of loss of stature
and professional esteem.
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Accept the Loss |
Bummer though it may be, you must come to terms with the fact that success
as you used to know it is over. Let it go. Look fondly on the good times
that you had in the past and cherish those memories. For whatever the reason
– job cuts, performance problems, or other issues – that ride is over now.
It serves no good purpose to dwell on the reason for the ending – though it
is important to acknowledge any missteps. Learn from them. Resolve not to
repeat them. Then move on.
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Identify
a New Path |
Losses provide an opportunity for new beginnings so take time to reflect
upon where you’ve been, where you are at this point in your life, and where
you’d like to go next. Do your homework. Take time to reflect. What are your
interests? What matters most to you now? Were you too locked into the job
before and want to have more time for yourself or relationships now? Do you
want to stay in the same line of work? Do something different? Something
totally new? What will you have to do to head out in a new direction? This
is an opportunity to shift course. Chart the path. Take advantage of
available professional development training, job search services, or
business planning resources out there to help you. Mobilize the requisite
skills. Then take flight!
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Keep Your Chin Up! |
Career losses and set-backs can be extremely daunting and demoralizing. They
can sap you of your energy and blunt enthusiasm. Particularly when you were
a powerbroker before and now it’s tough to get people to even return your
calls. Yes, their memories are short and they seem to have forgotten all you
did to help them. And, yes, you now have to do without many of the perks and
privileges you used to enjoy that were part of your image in the community.
But it’s a fact that attitude has everything to do with how you bounce back,
so marshal the confidence that you will rise above it all and that you will
come out ahead. You likely overstayed your time in your old position and the
current change forces you to move into a new role that’s better suited for
your talents and abilities. So don’t fear change and the unknown. Embrace
the future and enjoy who you are yet to become!
Loss of professional stature is disconcerting and depressing but it’s not
the end of the world. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself for a while, but
don’t linger. Re-activate the same attitudes and behaviors that propelled
your career before, remind yourself that you’re a winner, and
get back in the saddle for your next great ride!
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist and speaker in consulting practice in Fort
Lauderdale, FL and is author of
Success Management: How to
Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There
and The Fear of Success:
Stop It From Stopping You!
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Ask Dr. Webster...
Dear Dr. Webster:
I have been trying to not to say yes to too many things. I realize that I
have not learned my lesson when I have too many things happening back to
back or time approaches for something to occur and I resent that I have
agreed to do it. Sometimes, I just want to go home and have time for myself.
How does a person know when they have said yes to too many things and how
does one avoid doing so.
--Keep Taking On Too Much
Dear Keep
Taking On Too Much: You have very perfectly identified the way you know
you have said “yes” to too many things –- you clearly feel stressed by the
obligation and deeply resent that you agreed to do it. It’s no wonder all
you want to do is go home and have time for yourself. You need it! Now the
trick is to learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty since I assume
that’s what gets you into these messes – right?
The first thing is to step back and take a look at all you’re doing these
days. Make a list of all the activities and critically assess each with an
eye for why you’re doing them. Every activity is not a "smart
career move" nor the source of great personal satisfaction. So if the
activity is not at least one of these, why are you doing it?
The next step is to ask yourself where you’re trying to get to? Do
the activities you’re holding onto help you get there? And, certainly, when
anyone asks you to take on something new you must slow down long enough to
ask yourself whether doing so is going to be career enhancing or personally
fulfilling? If not, forget about it for now. Give yourself a chance to rest
and to catch your breath so that you can rejuvenate. There’s always time
later to do things just for the heck of it. And there will always be plenty
of requests for you to do things to “help others” or to “give back”. But
it’s very likely most of the other things you’re already doing fit into
these categories too, so don’t go overboard. All you’re doing is burning
yourself out and you won’t be doing good for yourself or anyone else either.
Give yourself permission to chill. It really is OK!
--Dr. Webster
Got a Question?
Ask Dr. Webster
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Success Motivator
I’ve lost the title two times, but I knew the only thing that would stop
me was if I quit on myself. You have to face your challenges and give
your all.
-- Evander Holyfield
Success Tip
Why Most Say
They Stay
1.
Our research confirms what many others have learned about the most common
reasons employees remain at a company (and what will help retain them)...
1. Career
growth, learning and development
2. Exciting
work and challenge
3.
Meaningful work, making a difference and a contribution
4. Great
people
5. Being
part of a team
6. Good
boss
7.
Recognition for work well done
8. Fun on
the job
9.
Autonomy, sense of control over my work
10.
Flexibility—for example, in work hours and dress code
11. Fair pay
and benefits
12. Inspiring
leadership
13. Pride in
organization, its mission and quality of product
14. Great work
environment
15. Location
16. Job
security
17.
Family-friendly
18.
Cutting-edge technology
From the book:
Love ‘Em Or Lose ‘Em
by Beverly Kay
& Sharon Jordan-Evans
San Francisco, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 1999
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Missed
An Issue?
Here's another chance to read up on topics of interest: |
|
ISSUE |
FEATURE
ARTICLE |
|
March
2008 |
Are You A Bully Boss? |
|
February 2008 |
Overconfidence |
|
January 2008 |
Excite Enthusiasm |
|
December 2007 |
Holiday Rituals |
|
November 2007 |
Fear of Success |
|
October 2007 |
Making Mistakes - Part 2 |
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September 2007 |
Making Mistakes |
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August 2007 |
Dynamic Delegators |
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July 2007 |
Customer Relations |
|
June 2007 |
Compassion Fatigue |
|
May 2007 |
Coping with Criticism |
|
April 2007 |
Fix Faults to Stop Staff From
Fleeing |
|
March 2007 |
For More Productivity,
Try Less Multitasking |
|
February 2007 |
Analysis Paralysis |
|
January 2007 |
Leading During Times of Crisis |
|
2006 Issues |
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2005 Issues |
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2004 Issues |
|
2003 Issues |
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Success!Ezine
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
DrCarolWebster.com
954.797.9766
Ezine@DrCarolWebster.com
Disclaimer: The information in this
newsletter is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a
substitute for obtaining direct professional help. |
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