To
Gain Work-Life Balance, Get a Life
Dr. E. Carol Webster
Copyright © 2006
There’s a reason some people don’t have balance between
their jobs or businesses and their personal lives. They
don’t have a personal life. Many individuals are
starving emotionally and they are starving socially. This
may be due, in part, to the fact that families are far flung
these days and few people even know their neighbors, robbing
them of the kind of stimulation, nurturing and support that
was common in the past. This means you have to put energy
into building a personal life and many people never get
around to it.
Work
Fills the Loneliness
For many, immersion in work eases the pain of an empty,
unsatisfying personal life. It gives you something to do,
somewhere to go, someplace to be somebody. People care about
you there, fuss over you, and provide opportunities for you
to take care of them too. This can seduce you into spending
more and more time there – loading you up with more tasks
and responsibilities so that you feel too overwhelmed and
exhausted to work on any other aspect of your life.
Work
Becomes Your Identity
In our society, we are all defined in large part by the job
we do. But when you’re not doing much else in your life, it
can become all that you are. You only feel powerful
and productive when in your work role, and feel adrift and
purposeless when on your own time. People only know you in
connection with your job or business, and you likely have
little else to talk about,
Get A
Life
Step back and take stock of what’s missing in your life. Be
frank with yourself and accept that you have to put time
into building hobbies, leisure time, and family and personal
relationships that are meaningful and satisfying. If there
is just too much emotional baggage associated with your
relationships to overcome, “adopt” new friends and surrogate
family members and put energy into strengthening these. Get
involved in community service and charitable activities. Not
only will you give well-needed time and attention to others,
you will come into contact with people other than your
co-workers or clients. Over time, you will have a richer,
broader base of experiences that will help you grow as an
individual. Give yourself permission to build this side of
your life and realize that this is as much a mark of success
as excelling in your career.
In order to attain work-life balance, you have to have
something in your life other than work.
