DR. E. CAROL WEBSTER’S
HIGH PROFILE DADS: JUST BE DAD
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Original Copyright © 2014
Many high profile Dads shake their heads in amazement when their kids don’t live up to their success. Educated in the best schools, connected to the top social networks, and given every opportunity to shine, they fail to live up to their parents’ high level of success. So what’s up with this? High profilers have to understand that their kids are individuals and have to make their own way in the world. This can cause great frustration, but try to do things differently if you want them to thrive.
Get Out of Their Way
Your efforts to help your kids can impede – rather than propel – their success. Get out of their way. Help when they ask for your help. But, otherwise, leave them alone. Let them chart their course and figure out what they need to do to succeed. You’ve given them all the basics. You’ve opened all the doors. Now it’s up to THEM to make it happen. Many times they don’t want it bad enough, so they don’t put in the necessary energy and effort. Take note of this. You may want to jump in and pull it together for them. But this would be another one of YOUR successes, not theirs.
Let Them Define Success
High profilers find it particularly disheartening when their kids don’t aspire to make it to the top. You may find it hard to believe they don’t want the type of life you’ve built for yourself, but often they don’t. Having grown up in the “fishbowl,” many long for a life that affords them greater anonymity and privacy. They want a life that allows them to be themselves. They know the price of “status” and don’t care to pay it. So, while society defines typical markers of “success,” these kids opt to define it as they wish. Let them be. Take pride in their accomplishments – however they define them. And find solace in the knowledge that they are out in the world taking care of themselves on a path that makes them happy.
Just Be ‘Dad’
So if you’re not busily pushing your kids onto the fast-track–- what’s left for you to do this Father’s Day? Just be ‘Dad’. Enjoy the time spent with them and savor those family rituals and activities that has brought all of you such joy throughout their lives. Yes, I know. You won’t be able to resist giving advice here and there to help them ‘get ahead in life’, but try to keep it to a minimum. They ‘get it’. They’re just not interested in getting on the fast-track with you.
Father’s Day is a time to celebrate you. Don’t define your success as a Dad by whether your kids join you up on the ladder. Immerse yourself in the time spent together and the love they shower upon you on your special day. That’s a success to be proud of!
Enjoy These Other Success Articles
High Profile Dads
Power of Dads
Put Your Child On the Fast Track for Success
Success Management for Kids
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
She is author of the book for those dealing with the stress of success ―
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There,
The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! ―
the book to help you overcome fears that may be holding you back in your life and career
The Private Practice of Clinical Psychology in: Voices of Historical & Contemporary Black American Pioneers
To contact Dr. Webster visit online at http://drcarolwebster.com or call 954.797.9766.
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
Mailing Address: 7027 West Broward Boulevard, #262 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33317
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