Spending a lot of time socializing, but not enjoying your friends? People change and you do too, so it may be that you’ve outgrown some of your relationships. It’s not necessary to jettison your friends altogether, but it may be time to “reclassify” some of them.
Former School Chums & Work Friends
Friendships with former classmates and work colleagues are often the quickest to fade once you or they graduate or leave the job. Yes, you spent hours on end together and have many common experiences, but the meaningfulness of this can wither when you’re no longer in the same place. This doesn’t happen to everyone and many people keep these cherished relationships their entire lives, but don’t cling to the past trying to resurrect the closeness if it’s no longer there. Keep in touch as occasions warrant, but put your energy into doing new things that will help you meet others and make new friends.
When you’re very successful and have a high profile, you acquire more “friends” than you can count. Though it may hurt your feelings to acknowledge that most of these folks were in your life because you could benefit them in some way, very often that’s the reality. Once you’ve helped raise their stature, they no longer need you as much and you may feel the relationship cool. Similarly, when your own limelight fades – which has to happen at some point – many of these friends will be in the wind. You may find this depressing when you’ve considered these friendships to be closer than they really were, but let them go. Look for those who want to be in your life for you, not for what you do.
Over the years you’ve probably been forced to adopt a host of family acquaintances into your social circle and may have come to view many as your friends. This is great when there is good compatibility, but can grow wearisome when you realize that you actually have few interests in common beyond the family member connections. No need to show them the door, but no need to invite them to every social gathering either. You choose your friends, not your family members, so don’t feel guilty about limiting your guest list when you feel like it.
Friends come in many shapes and sizes and enter our lives for a variety of reasons. But friendships can fade, so don’t cling to illusions of closeness. Reclassify those folks and get together when mutually satisfying occasions arise, but grow your social network so you can spend your time and energy with those you truly enjoy.
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About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster, Your Success Psychologist!, is a clinical psychologist consultant.
She is author of the book for those dealing with the stress of success ―
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There,
The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! ―
the book to help you overcome fears that may be holding you back in your life and career
The Private Practice of Clinical Psychology in: Voices of Historical & Contemporary Black American Pioneers
To contact Dr. Webster visit online at http://drcarolwebster.com or call 954.797.9766.
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Your Success Psychologist!
Clinical Psychology Consulting
Mailing Address: 7027 West Broward Boulevard, #262 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33317
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