DR. E. CAROL WEBSTER’S
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Original Copyright © 2010
Kids can be a handful. They have access to more information and stimulation than ever before and enjoy friends and experiences that can spark their advancement well beyond their chronological age. While your darlings may impress you with their precocity and self-expressiveness, others may view them as fresh mouthed and smart alecky — the kind of kids no one wants to be around for long. Just as you successfully manage your staff and career, put time and energy into raising socially adaptive children too.
Remember that You’re the Adult
Very often parents forget that they’re in charge. You have the superior knowledge, wisdom, and experience to establish the “rules” about how kids are expected to behave at home and when with others. You may want to give them “room to grow,” but this doesn’t mean that you let them do whatever they please. They shouldn’t be hanging from the rafters or running amok because they’re “full of energy,” need to “work it off,” or have to kick, touch and feel everything that triggers their curiosity. Use your common sense. Better yet, take a parenting class. Society doesn’t require you to do this, but it can help you determine healthy values, attitudes and behaviors to teach your children if you’re having trouble managing this on your own.
It’s OK to say “No!”
Unruly kids typically are out of control because their parents have trouble setting limits for them. They don’t know what behavior is considered unacceptable and, when they do, they have learned that there are no negative consequences for not following these “rules”. People head for the hills when they come around because their parents don’t do anything about their behavior. These parents also tend to cop an attitude if others scold their children or try to get them under control. Remember that kids learn how to rein themselves in because of the boundaries you set for them and this means saying “no” to many things. It’s fine to get their input. Fine to learn how they feel about things. But parenting is not a democracy. You’re not their peer and don’t need their “vote” or consent. You’re the boss and what you say goes.
Take Time to Parent
Yes, your career is demanding but parenting requires your time too. Many people decide that they don’t really like parenting so they delegate this responsibility to nannies or other caretakers. Frankly, some of these folks do a better job because they have better temperaments to deal with youngsters’ behavior but, ultimately, the buck stops with you. Your child must have structure, supervision and discipline along with nurturance, stimulation, and enrichment. Take time to provide it or be certain that it is adequately being provided by someone.
Parenting is work and requires ongoing fine tuning as the needs of your children develop. In addition to being bright and inquisitive youngsters, they must be disciplined and able to adapt to society. They may be cherubs to you, but will be terrors to others if you don’t do your job well.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
She is author of the book for those dealing with the stress of success ―
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There,
The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! ―
the book to help you overcome fears that may be holding you back in your life and career
The Private Practice of Clinical Psychology in: Voices of Historical & Contemporary Black American Pioneers
To contact Dr. Webster visit online at http://drcarolwebster.com or call 954.797.9766.
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
Mailing Address: 7027 West Broward Boulevard, #262 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33317
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