DR. E. CAROL WEBSTER’S
SUMMER IS GREAT TIME FOR POWER COUPLES
TO RECHARGE AND RECONNECT
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Original Copyright © 2003
Power couples need to join the ranks of those who vacation in the summer. Many continue the high intensity networking and business dealing all year long and then wonder why they feel ready to drop from exhaustion. You’re going in one direction. He or she’s going in another. You pass like ships in the night and hardly know what’s going on with each other except the bare essentials. You have a lot of vacation time for a reason — you need to take a break.
Take Time Off
Summer is a good time to give yourself permission to take time off. Many businesses slow down at this point in the year and understand that people in other companies are on vacation too. Yes, there’s work piling up on the desk. No, it’s not going to get done by itself. But, nobody is indispensable and it can wait until you’ve had a chance to recharge your batteries. Nonstop working eventually leads to waning productivity and time spent doing things over instead of doing them right the first time. This comes from mind fatigue and physical exhaustion that affects even the best and most successful people on the go. You have a generous leave package because the stress of your job requires a long break, so coordinate your schedules and take some time off. One week will give your body time to wind down. Two will allow time to rest and then to do something you enjoy. If this is not possible, a long weekend is better than nothing at all.
Try to start out by doing nothing. Bum around, take it easy, and give your mind and body a chance to bounce back from the hectic pace you keep all year. This is hard when you have children, especially little ones, and explains why sending the children to camp or to spend the summer with relatives has always been so popular. Many power couples relocate to their summer homes with good intentions of taking a break, but arrive so loaded down with work that they might as well stay at the office. Even if you are going to commute back and forth during the summer, officially designate some of the time as bona fide “off duty” time. This means cut the cell phone off, let the business e-mail go unchecked, and leave the briefcase shut until the designated “vacation” time has elapsed.
Talk to Each Other
Since you will both be in the same place for more than a few minutes for a change, take this opportunity to talk. There should be more to the relationship than just giving instructions for the day or conducting business about the bills, so have fun getting to know each other again. It has sometimes been years since power couples spent time together doing more than superficial entertaining or working the room at a networking event. While they excel at this and may be well known around town for their success, attractiveness and style as a couple, many can tell you very little about their mate other because they rarely have time to enjoy each other. Grabbing a few minutes here and there on the cell phone is not the same as having time to lounge around and chat. Experience that great sense of humor; re-awaken the romance. Take pleasure in sharing those dreams that once brought you two together in the first place.
Use the time together to review those plans about where you’re headed together. Often power couples are just sailing along without a clear sense of where they’re headed individually or together. Being capable and skilled people, they continue to encounter one success after the other, but not always because of their own design or desire. People recommend them for opportunities and situations are often fortuitous. There’s nothing wrong with this, but take the time to review together how your life has been proceeding and whether you both want to stay on the same path.
If there is some disagreement about where your lives are heading, redo the game plan. There’s nothing sacred about leaving things “as is” if either of you are unhappy about the course of your life and need to make some changes. Sometimes this means giving up aspects of your current routine that you enjoy. Sometimes it means moving or making other major changes. One of the most difficult changes can be letting go of some of the materialisms and perks that go along with doing well in American society. Many power couples decide that they want it all and set the course on full speed ahead. When you do this, it’s all the more important to take time off to re-energize so that you’re ready for the hectic pace that awaits you.
Summertime is a great time for busy couples to step back and take advantage of the lull in business and social demands to reconnect with one another. It can be exciting to be in a relationship with someone whose life is equally busy and chaotic because you feel okay about doing your own thing, but you are in a relationship for a reason. Take time to regroup emotionally and physically, and to rejuvenate the relationship too.
About the Author:
Dr. E. Carol Webster is a clinical psychologist consultant in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
She is author of the book for those dealing with the stress of success ―
Success Management: How to Get to the Top and Keep Your Sanity Once You Get There,
The Fear of Success: Stop It From Stopping You! ―
the book to help you overcome fears that may be holding you back in your life and career
The Private Practice of Clinical Psychology in: Voices of Historical & Contemporary Black American Pioneers
To contact Dr. Webster visit online at http://drcarolwebster.com or call 954.797.9766.
E. Carol Webster, Ph.D.
Clinical Psychology Consulting
Mailing Address: 7027 West Broward Boulevard, #262 Fort Lauderdale, FL 33317
Reprint Policy: You are welcome to reprint this article for your personal use and to share with friends and associates.
Contact Dr. Webster to obtain permission for any commercial purposes.